Every journey has a destination, and the destination of the Wounded Child Journey is self love. As children, we were taught that we were not worthy of love, or that love was something that had to be earned. We learned that love was something that could come and go. What we were taught of love by those who abused us was that it was a means of control, and it always led to pain.
If love is something that has to be earned, and can be given and taken away, it is no wonder that we have so much difficulty in our relationships. If we are in a relationship with someone who truly loves us, there is always the fear that we can lose that love. For so many of us, this insecurity harms the relationship. How many times can our partner reassure us? Logically, we know that we are loved, but emotionally, the fear of loss of love is so deeply ingrained, that it overrides our logic and sabotages our relationships.
Or we can enter into a relationship with someone who is just like our abuser. So many of us go down this path. I did. Multiple times. I’ve had long-term relationships where love was conditional. As hard as I tried to earn it, I failed.
True love cannot be earned. It just is. True love is about mutual growth, mutual respect, mutual giving and mutual receiving. There is no prerequisite, and no conditions. Conditional love is not love at all.
The most important thing to understand about love is this: you cannot be in a place to receive true love until you truly love yourself. If you do not love yourself, you have no yardstick by which to love. It is the lack of self love that destroys even those relationships where you are loved unconditionally.
So many people ask me, “How?” It is a process that I call, “The Wounded Child’s Journey.” It takes us from where we are now: in a place of victim thinking, of learned helpless, of being stuck; to that healing place of self love. To learn more about The Wounded Child’s Journey, I’ve created a video, which you can view for free at woundedchildsjourney.com
Now is the time to learn how to love yourself. Now is the time to truly believe that you are worthy of love and all that life has to offer.